I used to be that guy who never missed going to church. I would never forsake the gathering of brethren together. Sunday morning would always find me at church. But the truth is for most of those faithful years, the only reason I did go to church, was because my parents would make sure I went with them. As years went by, we each inevitably had to adopt strikingly different schedules on Sunday. I had the liberty to choose when to go to church. 🙂
I remember one Sunday morning, I felt really discouraged. The only way I thought of dealing with my low moods was to sit and do nothing. So I did just that. I sat. But I also couldn’t shake off one troubling thought. I knew I should be at church. I knew I was doing the wrong thing. After much struggle, I managed to eventually make it to church. I went through this a couple of times. With each Sunday, it got easier to go to church late. Making it for the service just as it started felt like an achievement. Getting to share in singing at the beginning of the church service with the rest of the congregants was rare. I would almost always make it just in time before the pastor preaches.
Then, there was this one Sunday. I vaguely remember that on this specific day, I didn’t want to go to church at all. I figured it was okay to skip this Sunday and plan to attend the next one. I struggled through the 2 hours that I knew constituted the church service. At about 12 noon, after the service was over, I made my way to church, just to make an appearance. You know, so that my friends would not ask too many questions.
Soon enough my heart grew cold towards the church service. There seemed to be nothing to look forward to. Sunday service became a convenient meeting time. Anything could easily be planned around Sunday service. I felt like I really lost touch. I didn’t have any motivating reasons to go.
I started asking myself questions like
- What causes me to struggle each Sunday morning? What are the real underlying issues?
- What have been my reasons for going to church in the past?
- What should be my reasons for going to church going forward?
I really don’t have all the answers to these questions. It’s kinda hard to answer these questions whilst in the middle of this struggle. I would love to hear from you all. What do you think? What Bible references would you use as weapons in this fight? What words of encouragement, warning, rebuke would you give someone like me? 🙂