The days I didn’t go to church

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I used to be that guy who never missed going to church. I would never forsake the gathering of brethren together. Sunday morning would always find me at church. But the truth is for most of those faithful years, the only reason I did go to church, was because my parents would make sure I went with them. As years went by, we each inevitably had to adopt strikingly different schedules on Sunday. I had the liberty to choose when to go to church. 🙂

I remember one Sunday morning, I felt really discouraged. The only way I thought of dealing with my low moods was to sit and do nothing. So I did just that. I sat. But I also couldn’t shake off one troubling thought. I knew I should be at church. I knew I was doing the wrong thing. After much struggle, I managed to eventually make it to church. I went through this a couple of times. With each Sunday, it got easier to go to church late. Making it for the service just as it started felt like an achievement. Getting to share in singing at the beginning of the church service with the rest of the congregants was rare. I would almost always make it just in time before the pastor preaches.

Then, there was this one Sunday. I vaguely remember that on this specific day, I didn’t want to go to church at all. I figured it was okay to skip this Sunday and plan to attend the next one. I struggled through the 2 hours that I knew constituted the church service. At about 12 noon, after the service was over, I made my way to church, just to make an appearance. You know, so that my friends would not ask too many questions.

Soon enough my heart grew cold towards the church service. There seemed to be nothing to look forward to. Sunday service became a convenient meeting time. Anything could easily be planned around Sunday service. I felt like I really lost touch. I didn’t have any motivating reasons to go.

I started asking myself questions like

  1. What causes me to struggle each Sunday morning? What are the real underlying issues?
  2. What have been my reasons for going to church in the past?
  3. What should be my reasons for going to church going forward?

I really don’t have all the answers to these questions. It’s kinda hard to answer these questions whilst in the middle of this struggle. I would love to hear from you all. What do you think? What Bible references would you use as weapons in this fight? What words of encouragement, warning, rebuke would you give someone like me? 🙂

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7 responses to “The days I didn’t go to church

  1. Very real article. Been here before.. I think for kids raised in ministry (like me😊) or with involved parents, you realise that church was never really a choice, and so you go through a season of disillusionment. It happens…
    Ultimately, the desire for God and his house has to be birthed from within.. So I’d say 1. pray for God to cultivate that desire and then 2.find a place to serve in church and get involved. And 3. stay accountable to spiritual authority. Let them know you feel discouraged and have them speak into your life.

    • I like point number 3. Accountability is key in the Christian walk. Also realising that the desire for God and his house needs to be birthed from within, as you have mentioned, should push us to seek God in prayer at such times.

  2. Have been here . For me one basic underlying factor I realized is having head and beleive theology but not practical faith. Which led to, after the breakdown of community like u said u had to make decisions on your own, was followed by less prayer, less study of scripture.
    So I would agree that prayer, God’s word in an accountable community of believers is paramount.

  3. Great piece…very relate-able too. I have been there and i think the best place to start is finding out why the bible encourages church and fellowship. i have just looked it up and i think one of the reasons is brethren help keep us in check(accountable) and they challenge us (spur us to love and good works – Heb 10:24-25).
    i have also realised there is a benefit to being at the right place when you are supposed to be there….it can help guard against sin; case in point David and bethsheba….had david been at war with the rest of his men as was expected of him (2 Sam 11), the whole beth-david story would never have happened.

    • I could not agree more. Accountability is key. Church should be a place where we find true fellowship and accountability.

  4. Not once have i found myself in the same situation. Especially having been raised by parents who were really involved in church i didnt really have a choice but to attend church. After highschool i got to through a discipleship programme where i learnt that salvation is very personal and thats where i started cultivating my relationship with God. As i did that i discovered that the more intimate i got with him the more i wanted to spend time with him (alone or in church). Same thing happens when you have this really close friend…you definitely want to spend alot of time with them and get to know them better. But any time sin came in i discovered a disconnect, and the secret i learnt and am still learning is to invest in prayer and quality time in his word, build that relationship and most importantly keep myself away feom sin..live a life of purity.
    Also being involved in ministry at church and getting involved activities like biblestudy also helps alot. And also having people to walk with 🙂

    • I like what you said here,”..the more intimate I got with Him the more I wanted to spend time with him (alone or in church)”. I can see the same trend in my own life. The more I drifted away from Jesus the more I struggled with seeking fellowship with fellow believers.

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