My birthday happens to be at the end of the year. Well, almost at the end of the year. Rejoicing over growing older by one year accompanies thinking about how I lived that last 365 days of my life. This year I have grown my first 3 strands of white hair. My bald spot has grown wider and my beard has grown longer (mostly because I resolved not to shave it). If there is one thing I have learned, it is that change is real. It’s like coming to the realization that the sun is hot or that it rises and will set in the evening. Whatever has been the norm and obvious now becomes more obvious. Sometimes we play a big role in effecting change but sometimes change finds us where we are and there is nothing we can do about it. I know the coming years will bring more change than I can imagine. I am grateful that this year has shown me a taste of it.
My affections and feelings change.
I have seen my affection for music grow. I have seen my affection for other things diminish. At those times I asked myself, “What is happening to me? I thought that this is who I am.” I have also learned that when I stay away from God, my affection for him grows dim and my affection for sin would then fire up.
My situations and circumstances change.
For the longest time, I had the privilege of leading a worship team. This year, I got to hand over leadership to another. I loved leading that team. I loved the challenges leading exposed me to. I got to plan for a concert. I had never done this before! We had so much fun. We still do. I found some identity in that role. You see I had served in that role for 3 years! I am both remorseful and happy at handing over. I can see that God grants us different platforms so that we can learn to serve in different capacities.
With regard to friendships, God works such that some stick around longer than others. Some come in at the right time, for the right purpose, and soon after leave.
I am aging. There is nothing I can do to stop it. I may be 27 now. But a time will come when I will be 49 like my mom and 53 like my dad.
I must also change.
Everything around me is changing. Can I stay the same? No! I have had to adapt. I have to change. Some people handle change better than others. I frankly don’t do very well here.
How will I handle my lasting affections, my unstable most times short lived affections, growing older, new friends, been-with-me-since-forever friends? I must analyze and evaluate. Am I dealing with my friends as I should? Am I growing appropriately? Am I sitting on my gifts? Am I acting my age 🙂 ? Am I more responsible? Am I knowing Christ Jesus more? The list of questions can go on and on. But after asking this questions, some adjusting needs to be done where necessary.
God never changes.
Mali Music shares in one of his songs , “I believe“:
Sometimes I can’t see but I still believe
He’s taking care of me, yes He is
Amidst all the change that is happening, there is one who doesn’t change—God. He is taking care of me. If God was subject to change from external-to-him influences then he wouldn’t be sovereign and supreme. He would not be reliable. God, who is constant, keeps the universe in balance. Horrible things happen in this world we live in. Unexpected bad things happen in our lives. Quoting Mali Music once again in the song “I believe“:
So much I don’t have answers for
That’s what makes me trust You more
Uncertainty should draw me to God who is certain about all things. It may sound strange, but if I were to die tomorrow I would rather trust Christ Jesus who knows when I will die because I know he loves me with an everlasting love. My life would not be in vain.
Change amidst uncertainty is hard. Very hard! I am sure there are people who are facing harder challenges. Challenges I would not be able to handle.
In summary, this year has taught me this : change will happen but God has all my bases covered. Change is one of God’s way of showing us that we need him supremely. After all, every breath is a gift from God.